


Choices she never made

by nycz



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Development, F/F, Red Queen Week 2017, Slow Burn, Violence, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-27 12:14:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12581668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nycz/pseuds/nycz
Summary: Red leaves Snow's court after the Evil Queen is banished, needing time alone to deal with who and what she is, or forget it entirely. Then Regina arrives with an offer and a purpose, and Red hesitantly accepts.





	Choices she never made

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lovecanbesostrange](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovecanbesostrange/gifts).



> Written for Red Queen Week 2017, with the prompt: " _Give me something with Regina as the Evil Queen and finding herself a werewolf. You can decide wether Red is willing to be evil or if she gets to push Regina to the softer side of things. Red can be friends with Snow or maybe she hates her too for some reason? All your choice, just start with some darkness._ "
> 
> This should have been finished three days ago and I'm very _very_ sorry because I failed miserably at that. The story spiraled out of control (I had actually meant for this to be around 2000 words at first, if you can believe it) and, well, here we are. This hasn't been beta'd or read through all that much because I wanted to get it up in an at least vaugely timely fashion so premature apologies for spelling errors or other oddities.
> 
> (Also I'm pretty sure this is the first time I'm actually writing Regina as the Evil Queen? Didn't even realize that before I was halfway through the fic.)
> 
> I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless :)

_"I'm sorry, Red. I wish there was something I could do."_

_Red clenched her fists, feeling her hope slowly slip away. "I'm not asking to become human. I know that is too much. But... I want to forget."_

_But the Blue Fairy only shook her head. "I can't do that."_

_"It's just a memory spell! You're the oldest fairy there is, you–"_

_"Those memories are part of you, Red. I can't take them away from you."_

_"But I don't want them!" Red exclaimed. "I don't want to remember the people I killed."_

_Blue's smile made her stomach churn. "Everyone has bad memories. Maybe yours will help you stay away from your mother's path."_

 

* * *

 

When Red woke up, the feeling of bones snapping and flesh getting torn apart between her jaws was still fresh in her mind.

 

* * *

 

It was a day like any other in the small port town that Red had called home for close to half a year now. The ground was muddy and filthy, the air smelled of cheap ale and fish, and the streets were filled with people in a hurry to leave. Red had been working in the ports most of the time, the hard work an easy way to keep herself occupied and her wolf at least moderately at bay. She didn't let it out anymore after all, and it wasn't too pleased about it.

This day, however, a distinctly foreign smell hit her nostrils around noon, cutting through the fish and the rest of it. Expensive perfume, expensive fabrics, and magic. She knew who it had to be.

Her suspicions were confirmed less than an hour later when the Evil Queen herself rode up to her.

"What do you want, _your majesty_?"

"Please, call me Regina. No reason to be so formal." Regina paused, taking in the surroundings for a moment. "Not that formality is even an option in this place. In any case, I'm here to hire you."

Red couldn't help but laugh. "You want to hire me. And how will that help you kill Snow White?"

"Oh, I don't need help with that. In fact, I don't have to do anything for that to happen. Your precious Snow would rather play princess in her little castle than take care of her kingdom, after all. Bandits, ogres, the neighboring kingdoms..." She smiled. "They will burn that castle to the ground within years."

"You still haven't told me what I've got to do with this."

Regina's smile faded away. "My soldiers are wasted against ogres, and without them my castle will fall."

"And why should I care what happens to you?"

"Do you think the only people living in my castle are me and my horde of evil henchmen? What about the farmers and villages that Snow doesn't deem neccessary to care about?" She made an exaggerated face of concern. "And here I thought goodness meant helping those in need."

"When Snow needs help, I'll help her. She won't let anyone get hurt." The words rang hollow even as she said them.

Regina hummed and strolled over to a neglected flower bush nearby, running her gloved fingers across its petals. "How is she, by the way? Is her pregnancy coming along well?" She looked up but stopped herself with a smirk when she saw Red's darkened expression. "Oh, I'm sorry, maybe you hadn't heard? Doesn't Snow keep you in the loop anymore? Don't worry, I'm sure she'll remember you exists as soon as you're useful to her again."

Crossing her arms, Red tried to keep her expression blank. She hadn't heard much from Snow since she left the castle, several months ago. One letter a few weeks after her departure, and then nothing. "I think you should leave now."

Regina gave her one last unimpressed look before mounting her horse in one swift move. "When you want to be something other than that spoiled princess' discarded pet, you know where to find me."

 

* * *

 

It only took a week after Regina's visit for Snow to show up.

"Red, it's been far too long," she said as she caught Red in a tight hug. "How are you doing?"

"It's good. Hard work, but I like it," Red replied with a smile that was almost genuine.

Snow lingered awkwardly for a moment, looking like she wanted to say something but not knowing what. "I heard the Evil Queen came to see you," she finally said. "What did she want?"

_she'll remember you when you're useful to her_

Hesitating, Red tried to ignore the knot in her stomach. "Oh, ah... she just wanted information, I guess," she tried with a half hearted shrug. "Said something about ogres and bandits attacking her castle."

"Yes, I've heard reports about that." She gave Red's arm a reassuring squeeze. "Don't worry though, we're not in any danger. If those reports are right, we'll be ready for them if they come over the border."

"With... the army?" Red furrowed her brows, remembering the ramshackle state the kingdom's army had been just a few months earlier.

"The fairies are helping us," Snow replied quickly, too quickly to sound natural. "And besides, we defeated the Evil Queen. The heroes always win in the end, Red."

Snow didn't stay for long after that. Important business with the nobility, she told Red, business that couldn't wait. The nobility wasn't happy with the taxes anymore and they had to be appeased, somehow.

That same evening, Red began packing for her trip to the land of the Evil Queen.

 

* * *

 

Whatever Red had expected the remains of the Evil Queen's lands to look like, she was disappointed. The roads looked like any other road, the villages like any other village. No heads on spikes, no sacrificial altars, no cowering beggars lining the streets. In fact, she didn't spot many soldiers at all, and the ones she saw seemed about as interested in carnage and mayhem as any soldiers in Snow's kingdom.

The only thing of note was, of course, the Dark Palace. Rivaling even the mountains nearby in size, it dominated the land around it, and the closer Red got, the more imposing it became.

The two soldiers posted at the front gates let her in without a word, closing the tall doors behind her and leaving her in a castle that felt as dead as the stones it was made of. Red didn't know where to go and her instincts screamed at her to leave, but she ignored them. Soon enough, she picked up a familiar scent.

"Ah, a visitor!" Regina said when Red finally found her. "So you decided to come after all."

"You said you had a job." The hair on Red's arms and neck was standing straight up and her wolf was restless. "Ogres."

Regina's smile widened. "I have many jobs for you, wolf. But yes, ogres is a particular hassle I'm sure you could deal with quite swiftly."

Red nodded stiffly. "I don't work for free."

"I don't expect you to, dear. If gold is what you want, I have plenty to spend." When Red didn't react, she flicked her wrist, conjuring up a large model of the surrounding lands on a table nearby. She walked up to it and placed a gloved finger on a miniature version of the Dark Palace. "We're here, if that's not obvious. There is a small band of ogres two days walk to the north, around here. Kill them, hurt them, bloody their noses. They need to be taught a lesson in fear."

"That's it?" It seemed far too simple and straight to the point, but Red still couldn't figure out the catch.

Regina gave her an exasperated look. "Yes." She sighed in frustration and paused for a moment. "There are ogres," she continued, pronouncing each word slowly as you would to a child, "that want to kill and eat people. You–" she pointed at Red, "–need to kill them, so they don't kill us. It's not that hard to figure out!"

"Fine." Red looked at the map, as much to memorize the locations as to try to understand Regina's endgame. "Fine, I'll find the ogres."

"Good. And don't worry, the next time I'll prepare a step by step pictorial guide for you to follow," Regina scoffed.

She disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke before Red had time to respond.

 

* * *

 

It wasn't until she was running through the forest, leaping over stones and tree trunks, that Red realized just how long it had been since she had let her wolf out. Working odd jobs in the docks of that small port town was not something that required a werewolf, and the longer she had let her wolf stay hidden, the harder it had been to allow herself to do it again. What if she hurt someone during a full moon? Even if she didn't, hunters were bound to show up if rumors of a giant wolf roaming the woods ever got out.

Here, in the deep forests of Regina's kingdom, here she didn't have to worry. She stretched her legs with every leap, enjoying the way the wind tugged on her fur. She had space, she had a goal, and she had a righteous cause. And in that moment, that was enough.

The ogres were easy enough to find, their stench a beacon for Red to follow several miles away and their disorganized march through the forest loud enough for anyone to hear, werewolf or human. Large and bulky as they were, they didn't have time to react when Red reached them. She lunged for the throat of the closest one, locking her jaws around it and snapping it in one motion. The others, however, would not go down as easily. Where Red were quick and nimble, they were slow and clumsy, but when they hit, they hit hard. One of them swung their fist just as Red sunk her teeth in another's leg, hitting her right in the side and sending her flying, hitting a tree hard enough for it to crack.

The rest of the fight was a blur. Teeth, fists, claws and clubs mixed together with pain and a constant ringing in her ears.

When the fighting died down, she wasn't sure how many she had killed, or how many had fled. Even in her wolf form, she couldn't stand the smell. She limped back to the castle, only knowing she had survived.

 

* * *

 

"I thought werewolves were supposed to be invincible," was all Regina had to say to her when Red returned.

Red pulled her cloak tighter around her, trying to find some comfort in the familiar. She was warm, but her hands were still shaking. "I'm alive, aren't I?"

Regina just scoffed and turned back to her books.

A older man, looking vaguely familiar, guided Red out of the room. "Your room is this way. You must be very tired."

"No, I'm fine. I should..." She sighed. The more she thought about it, the more tired she became. Maybe sleeping in the castle just this one night wouldn't be so bad. "Alright."

They walked together in silence through the winding corridors, Red too lost in her own thoughts to bother trying to make smalltalk.

"Here's your room," the man said when they arrived at an ornate door. He opened it, gesturing for her to enter. Seeing Red making herself at least moderately at home, he moved to leave. Then he stopped, right in the doorway. "She's still got good inside her," he said. "She lashes out when she's worried. She..." He met Red's eyes for a brief moment before flashing an apologetic smile. "I'll just let you sleep. Good night."

Had Red not been tired enough to fall asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, she might have had time to think about his words.

 

* * *

 

Already the next morning, Red was feeling better. Many of her wounds had healed and the ache in her limbs had gone from painful to merely a memory of the day before. She felt alive.

She didn't spend much of the morning in the castle, instead opting for an early start on a new job Regina had given her. A group of bandits had set up camp near a village, harassing travelers and merchants and extorting tribute from the local peasants. They needed to go.

Red made good time in her wolf form, albeit not quite as much as the day before. Her wolf was less frenzied this time, not just thrilled to finally be free again, but calm enough to be able to enjoy it.

At noon, she arrived in the village Regina had said the bandits were threatening. The villagers were wary of outsiders, but with friendly words and a few coins spread around in the local tavern, a few of them opened up. Again, Regina's information seemed to be accurate. A few weeks earlier, a rowdy group – deserters mostly, although no one seemed to know from which army – had set up camp nearby, demanding tribute from locals and travelers alike. With the Queen's army more or less gone, there were no guards left to protect them, and the outlaws had been able to run free.

With a full stumach and her mind made up, Red left the village and shifted again, heading for the bandits' camp.

The bandits noticed her earlier than the ogres had, but it didn't make much of a difference. After Red ripped through the rusty chainmail of one of the braver fighters as if it was an old tunic, many broke and ran, throwing away their weapons and armor that slowed them down. Someone lunged at her with a spear, only to be thrown to the ground the next moment, their weapon falling uselessly to the ground. Still in control of herself – at least to some extent – Red kept herself from hunting down the wounded or fleeing, even though some part of her still longed for the hunt.

Eventually, only Red and the bodies of the fallen remained in the camp. Red shifted and got to her feet, her heart still pounding violently in her chest. She walked to the center of the camp where the fire was still burning, trying to keep herself from looking at the carnage around her. She bent down and picked up one of the branches from the fire, before stepping over to one of the tents and lighting it on fire. One by one, she set the tents and anything else that could burn on fire, to keep the bandits from returning and pick up where they left off.

When she was done, the roar of the fire was even louder than her heartbeat, still pounding in her ears. She watched the camp as it burned, staying until the scent of burning flesh reached her.

 

* * *

 

A week or so passed in the castle as Red hunted down ogres and outlaws with brutal efficiency. Despite what she had thought, her control grew little by little each day, the more time she spent in her wolf shape. She still got the nightmares, but not quite as often as before. She wasn't sure if she liked it.

And of course, there was Regina. When she wasn't pouring over maps and plans, Red often found her nose-deep in a book. It was more than a little odd to see her like that. She looked... human. The Evil Queen sauntered through the land with a vicious grin, killing innocents and setting villages on fire for whatever petty reason she could come up with. This person, Regina, sat couped up in an armchair, brows furrowed and a large, old book in her lap. Apart from the superficial physical similarities, very little about her reminded Red of the Evil Queen.

Then again, for anyone who wasn't familiar with Red, it would be impossible to know that Red and the wolf was one and the same. One was a fairly regular person, the other a vicious beast, killing and maiming with little to no remorse. With the gentle old man's words still firmly in her mind, Red couldn't help but wonder if the same was true for Regina, in some limited way at least.

"I know dogs aren't well known for their finely tuned social skills, but for humans it's considered impolite to stare."

Despite the biting tone, Red's smile turned up in a smile. After a week of being the frequent target of Regina's snark yet not of her magic, it was getting easy to brush it aside. "I was just thinking."

Regina didn't look up from her book. "Try not to hurt yourself."

Red studied Regina for a few more moments, gathering her thoughts. "How do you..." She stopped herself, trying to find a way to put words to her thoughts that didn't sound angry or accusatory. "How do you handle all the people you've killed?"

"I don't," Regina replied flatly. She looked up, meeting Red's eyes. "That's the point of them being dead."

"That's not what I meant. I've... I've killed a lot of people. And I don't– I don't know–" Red let out a frustrated noise, unable to come up with a satisfying sentence. "I don't know how I feel about it and I don't know what to do about it."

Regina blinked, then laughed. "And you're asking _me_ about advice?"

"It's not like there are a lot of people I could ask," Red shot back.

Regina's laughter died down, replaced by a look Red couldn't quite place. "Are you saying you and I are alike?"

Red couldn't find a good answer to that.

"In any case," Regina continued, "I do what I have to do and I do what I want to do. I don't let pointless emotions hold me back from getting what I want." She turned back to her book.

Quiet filled the room, only broken by the occasional noise from the fireplace.

"You still haven't told me why I'm here," Red finally said. "Why I'm really here."

This time, Regina looked up immediately, a wide smile playing across her lips. "You haven't figured it out yet? And you're still here?" She chuckled, closing the book in her lap. "Oh, this is just too good."

Red rolled her eyes. "Everything you've done, for a long as I've seen you, has been to kill or hurt Snow White." She paused, but Regina merely watched her, that smug smile still present. "And now for a week, I've been here, following your directions, killing bandits and saving peasants. I don't get it. You could have killed me or locked me up any number of times, to use me against Snow. What are you trying to prove?"

"Well, first of all, I'm not suicidal, so if ogres were to kill me, I'd say that would add considerable hurdles to my master plan, no?"

"You could leave, let the country be overrun and then let that bleed over into Snow's kingdom." Red scoffed, but there wasn't any real malice to it. "Don't tell me you care about your people all of a sudden."

"I could kill you to get to Snow, of course, but you're missing one very vital detail, dear." Regina put away the book and leaned forward in her seat, her smile growing sharper. "That only works if she cares about you. How long do you think she would mourn if you died here? You'd be a rallying cry, perhaps, but in the end you're a tool to her. A useful weapon to wield. One to mourn briefly when it's gone, but ultimately, you're disposable to her."

Red's mouth was drawn in a thin line and her fists clenched under her cloak. "And I'm not a tool to you?"

"Of course you are. The difference is that I'm honest about it."

Red didn't say anything for a few moments. She wasn't sure what hurt the most: Regina's words, or the fact that deep down, Red knew some of it was true.

"So that's why you keep me around here," Red said after a while. "Because I'm a useful weapon."

Regina rose without a reply, adjusted her dress, and headed for the door. Halfway there though, she stopped. "I don't think Snow would remember you for long if you died. Or if were hurt, for that matter." She regarded Red with an unreadable expression. "But what do you think she would do if I did the opposite? If we became... allies." She laughed. "Even this, us talking like this, would give her more sleepless nights than any number of dead subjects ever could."

Perhaps it was good that Regina vanished in a cloud of smoke as quickly as she did, because Red had no idea what to say to that.

 

* * *

 

Word soon began to spread of the vicious monster roaming the forest. As Red only hunted outlaws and ogres though, the fear among the regular people wasn't as strong as she had thought. Many travelers had wild stories to share after a few ales in the tavern, but no one organized any serious hunting parties. Only the outlaws fortified their camps, even banding together when they could.

For Red, it meant striking strategically, instead of the furious brawl those first few days. Sometimes she could pick off a scout, other times a minor raiding party. The ogres had become more cautious, staying near the borders, and she didn't bother dealing with them as long as they stayed away. She might have gotten closer to her wolf, but she still didn't enjoy killing for killing's sake. If fear would accomplish the same as death, she would pick fear any day.

"They're hiding, the little vermin," Regina muttered, staring at the map sprawled out on the table. "My guards have finally gotten the southern villages around the lake under control again, but at least half of the outlaws escaped." She cursed under her breath.

Red studied the area. The lake in question was in narrow valley, the villages on either side of it, scattered across the steep mountain sides. She couldn't really blame the soldiers; it was difficult enough for anyone to travel in that terrain, let alone a group of people in heavy armor.

"I can deal with them."

"No." Regina's expression darkened further. "I've gotten reports of a larger force, setting up camp in the east. I barely have enough troops there to man the local watchtower. I need you to deal with them." 

The east was more open than where she had hunted before and didn't have much cover to hide in, but Red was mostly just happy for a change of scenery. "Alright."

 

* * *

 

The open landscape turned out to be more a hindrance than Red had expected. She couldn't run as freely as in the woods if she wanted to stay hidden, and sometimes there was no other way than to travel by foot, in her human form. She couldn't really afford an angry mob coming after her, especially since she had to travel back the same way as well.

At least finding the invaders were easy, with no forest masking the telltale scent of leather and steel. She could hear talking and laughter, horses, and even a cat. In fact, the bandits had made no attempt whatsoever to hide their camp, setting it up near the banks of a small river well out in the open.

Red slowed as she reached the outskirts of the camp, both her wolf's and her own instincts screaming at her that something was very wrong. The sentries were sitting in the grass, laughing and playing dice, their polished armor tossed aside. The tents of the camp were neatly lined up, their expensive fabrics practically glowing in the sun. These people weren't bandits, Red realized. They were soldiers, many looking young enough for this to be one of their first missions.

Their reaction when seeing Red only confirmed it further. No running, no screaming, no unorganized charge, only a surprised flurry followed by barked orders and a wall of shields.

Not even her wolf wanted to fight.

 

* * *

 

Red ran the whole way back, her inital confusion slowly getting replaced by frustration and anger. While she had never been a proper soldier, she had fought along side them in the war against Regina and King George. Invading or not, those soldiers she had met this time hadn't been bandits and outlaws, leeching off the local peasants. There was a difference, an important one.

To her credit, Regina seemed to notice that something was off when Red returned.

"You're back early," she noted, studying Red carefully. "What's going on?"

"They weren't bandits!"

"What?"

"You sent me to kill _soldiers_! Regular soldiers!" Red could feel her teeth growing, her wolf clamoring to come out.

Regina blinked, looking uncharacteristically confused. "Of course you're supposed to kill soldiers. Obviously,  
slaughtering civilians would be counterproductive."

Red surged forward, eyes yellow and teeth bared, stopping herself inches away from Regina. "I'm not here to fight your war!"

Even with Red towering over her, Regina remained unfazed. "You're doing this to be a hero," she scoffed. "This is a quest for you, to _redeem_ yourself or something equally pointless, isn't it? Do you even know how many you've killed?" She leaned in, close enough for Red to feel Regina's breath against skin. "Do you even care?"

"I'm not a–" Red stopped herself, snapping her jaws shut before she could finish the sentence. _I'm not a killer_. The same thing she had said when her mother was dying. "I'm not like you," she finished, some of her fire already slipping away.

"Maybe. But you like the hunt." A cold smile pulled on Regina's blood red lips. "When I met you in that hovel you called home, you were nothing. You were pathetic shadow of what someone like yourself could be. And now..." She took a step back, grinning widely as she regarded Red. "You actually don't look like a corpse anymore."

"I came here to help," Red said. "To get rid of anyone preying on the people who can't defend themselves. I didn't sign up to fight in another war."

"Well, Isn't that just wonderful. An honest to goodness hero! It doesn't matter, of course. I didn't know about the soldiers." When Red didn't look convinced, she continued, "Do you really think I'm stupid enough to want another war? This isn't your spoiled princess' and her farmboy's land, Red; I actually _know_ how to run a kingdom. Obviously some idiot among my scouts couldn't tell the difference between a paid soldier and an ax-wielding thug."

A thick silence hung in the air, tense and uncomfortable. Most of Red's fury had fizzled out and she wasn't sure what to say anymore.

"What did the soldiers look like?"

Red shook her head, abruptly pulled out of her thoughts by Regina's words.

"The soldiers, Red," Regina repeated flatly, "the people wearing armor. What did they look like?"

Shaking her head, Red tried to remember. "They didn't exactly look battle hardened. A lot of them were pretty young. I think their tents were... orange. A few white ones. And the helmets, they had a these plates along the temples," she said, making a motion with her hand.

Regina hummed and turned her attention back to the map on the table.

"I think I'll leave, for a while," Red said when tension once again threatened to fill the room. "Snow needs to be told about what's going on here. That the reports are accurate."

Regina didn't look up. "You know the way out."

 

* * *

 

Ironically enough, coming back to Snow's court was almost as unsettling as the first time she entered the Dark Palace. Everything was almost as it had been when she first left all those months ago, but that remaining part that had changed was enough to lend the place a somewhat unsettling feeling. It felt like no time had passed – like it was the days after the Evil Queen's defeat – yet she knew all too well that it wasn't the same. She wasn't the same.

Snow welcomed her, quite literally, with open arms.

"It's so good to see you again," she gushed, giving Red a tight hug. "Are you alright? We heard..." Her expression grew seriour as she shared a look with David before continuing, "We heard you went to Regina's palace, and that a wolf has been seen in the forests nearby lately. What's going on?"

"I, ah..." Red hesitated, trying make sense of the time with Regina. "It's true. I've been helping her hunt–"

"You've been _helping_ her?" Snow exclaimed. "Red, she is the Evil Queen. You know what she's capable of."

"It's not like that. I've been helping the peasants there, really. Without the army, bandits and ogres–"

"So you're her army now? What did she do to you?"

Red let out a frustrated sigh. "She didn't do anything, Snow. She told me about the bandits and I agreed to help her. To help the people on her lands."

"You can't trust her," David chimed in. "She'll do anything to hurt Snow, even going through you to get to her. You can't be sure what her plans are."

"Then what about all the people in her kingdom?" Red snapped. "Are they just supposed to roll over and accept being raided by outlaws? Because of where they live?"

Snow looked puzzled. "They were living under the Evil Queen. Is it really that much worse now? Besides, there is always room in our kingdom for anyone who needs refuge."

Red swallowed her retort, knowing it wouldn't change Snow's mind. "If Regina's kingdom falls, all that chaos will spill over into your kingdom. Are you really ready for another Ogre War?"

"We will defend our land, and the people on it."

"And we have the fairies and our allies," David added, one hand resting on the pommel of his sword. "Good always wins in the end."

 

* * *

 

Blue caught up with her later that day, looking even more concerned than usual.

"Blue," Red greeted her, still frustrated from her conversation with Snow and David. They weren't going to send any help, unsurprisingly. Red wasn't even sure they believed her at all.

"How are you, Red?"

"Everyone seems to ask me that nowadays."

"We're all worried. Dealing with the Evil Queen is a dangerous gamble."

"I'm not gambling. I'm helping people."

Blue didn't even bother to hide the condescension in her smile. "I've heard many people say that. Many have still fallen to darkness."

"And I'm sure you've done your best to stop them," Red said flatly. _Like you did with me._

"Not every wish can be granted, Red."

"Obviously."

Blue sighed. "I did what I could for you. The rest is up to you. I only hope you can turn away from this dark path before it's too late."

 

* * *

 

Red lasted three days in Snow's court before the constant worried glances sent her way and the suffocating atmosphere of _purity_ and _goodness_ finally became too much. She wasn't sure where she would go, but she couldn't stay.

Needless to say, Snow wasn't delighted about the news.

"You're leaving already? But you just got here!"

"I was never going to stay her permanently, Snow," Red said, offering an apologetic smile. "I just... I need to go somewhere."

"But there's a place for you here, your friends are here," Snow insisited. Then she hesitated, her expression growing somber. "You're going back to Regina, aren't you."

Red began to protest, but Snow cut her off again.

"Is she threatening me? Is that why you're doing this? Red, you don't have to do this." She took hold of Red's hands, covering them with her own. "We can fight her. She won't win this time either. We can–"

"No one is threatening me," Red said, a sharp edge to her voice.

Snow let go of Red's hands. "But you're going back there." 

"Yes." As she said it, Red realized that she actually meant it. "Yes, I'm going back."

She left without waiting for a reply.

 

* * *

 

In sharp contrast to her arrival at Snow's castle, coming back to Regina's palace made her feel like she had been gone for months, not less than a week. She was relieved to find that the guards still let her in without a word, though. She had been a little worried that Regina would have cut off her access to the palace when she left.

"You're back," Regina noted when Red found her.

"You didn't think I'd return?" Red replied, only half-serious.

Regina scoffed. "I didn't spare it much thought." The way she quickly – too quickly – turned back to her maps belied her words, though. "Are you here to bicker about semantics some more?"

"I'm still not going to fight any war." Red waited for a reaction, but Regina didn't bite. "But I'll help protect your people, even if it means chasing away invading armies."

"'Chasing away'," Regina repeated with a mocking laugh. "That is not how wars are won, dear. But I suppose it will have to do."

"Good." Red gave her a wry smile. "Then I'm all yours."

 

* * *

 

Days turned into weeks as Red and Regina settled into a routine of sorts. Scouting for troop movement and hunting down ogres and bandits became mundane, and discussing tactics with Regina became something Red eventually felt like she had always done. Even the castle began to feel like a home of sorts.

Her nightmares didn't haunt her as often as before, but that didn't always mean she could sleep easily. There were so many things about herself and how she felt that she still couldn't quite figure out, still couldn't really see the whole picture of, and those thoughts often left her awake well past sundown.

One night, with heavy rain smattering against the window pane, Red gave up on sleep after a few hours of restlessly tossing and turning. She pulled on enough clothes to look decent and swept her cloak around her and padded out into the hallway, heading in whatever direction felt right.

In hindsight, she supposed it wasn't surprising that her instincts lead her to Regina, looking out through a window in one of the rooms high up in the castle spire.

"The rain keeping you up?" Red asked, stopping next to her. "It's raining even more now, isn't it."

"Let's hope it continues. The roads turning to mud will buy us more time."

Red looked over at Regina, trying to get a feel for her mood. Hearing her this pramatic – almost detached – without any jabs or witty comments thrown around was unusual.

"You really think someone is going to invade?"

"I would," Regina muttered. "That group of soldiers you ran into was just a test, to probe our defenses. As soon as someone decides it's worth doing that on a larger scale, they will all join in, like vultures."

"So what can we do?"

Regina's raised eyebrow was all she needed to realize what she had said.

"I mean, what– how will you be able to defend against a joint attack?"

" _We_ ," Regina emphasized the word with an amused smile, "fight, like we have done this far. Like _I_ have always done. War isn't just won on the battlefield, Red."

"Politics." Red made a face.

"I'm surprised you're not more excited. I would think a valiant hero like yourself would love fighting with words instead of on the battlefield."

"Obviously, you're the valiant hero among us," Red quipped.

Regina chuckled and turned back to the window.

 

* * *

 

The rain didn't let up for another week, the weather steadily growing colder. Autumn came early, painting the land with vibrant shades of orange and yellow. Red loved the view she got from the palace balconies, letting her see almost all the way to Snow's kingdom. She always felt a pang of regret when thinking about it, but she wasn't entirely sure why anymore. Did she feel like she had betrayed Snow in some way? Or was she angry with herself for placing Snow on too high a pedestal? Maybe she simply wished things could have turned out differently, simpler somehow.

"If you're done ogling the local flora, perhaps you could turn your attention to more important things."

Red snorted, joining Regina at the table.

"I'm sure we can find you a stick to play fetch with later."

"Funny." Ruby didn't bother to hide her smile.

Regina began telling her about a skirmish in the mountain a few days earlier, but Red's focus quickly drifted away. Regina's posture was stiff, even stiffer than usual. Her arms were wrapped tightly around herself except when pointing out a location on the map or making a gesture. Again and again, her shoulders twitched and she shifted her stance uncomfortably. She was freezing, Red realized.

Acting mostly on instinct, Red pulled off her cloak and walked over to Regina, wrapping it around her shoulders. It wasn't until she met Regina's bewildered stare that she realized how many bounds she had probably just trampled all over.

"What are you doing?" Regina asked sharply, but she made no move to remove the cloak.

Red hesitated, then shrugged. "You looked cold."

Now it was Regina who hesitated, seemingly torn between outrage and the warmth of the cloak. She licked her lips, almost as red as the cloak itself. "It smells."

Red shrugged again, a lopsided smile breaking out as the tension melted away. "But it's warm."

Sending Red a final petulant glare, Regina went back to her briefing, continuing as if nothing had happened.

 

* * *

 

Footsteps. Hundreds and hundreds of footsteps. Red didn't recognize them at first, but as they grew louder, there was no mistaking the sound anymore. That many couldn't be anything but an party of soldiers, and a large one at that.

She was out doing a routine sweep of the borderlands in the north, but all thoughts of that disappeared in an instant when she heard the sound of marching troops. She turned around and ran back towards the palace, practically flying through the forest. Warning Regina was the only thought in her mind.

Regina was couped up with a book when Red found her.

"Red? Why are you–"

"Soldiers–" Red swallowed hard, her breathing heavy from the running. "Soldiers, coming on the road from the west. Hundreds of them, at least."

Regina was out of her chair before Red had finished speaking. "The _west_? Who would–" She stared at Red for a moment. Then her expression hardened. "Snow," she snarled. "Of course. The one time I don't focus on her, she uses the opportunity."

"You can't be sure it's her."

"No one else would take that road!" She let out a string of expletives. "That road leads directly to my castle. It's well fortified and completely useless for attacking, but if you want to make a grand show of splendor and stupidity, that's the way to do it."

"But if it's fortified, you can stop them, can't you?"

"I don't have any troops here!" Regina exclaimed, sending a fireball hurling across the room. "There's you, me, and less than a hundred guards." She clenched her fists. "What I want to know is why they're here."

"Maybe they're here to lend help," Red suggested, but even as she said them, the words sounded hollow.

"Or maybe you sent them here."

Red blinked. The silence was sharp enough to cut yourself on.

"Was that what you were doing when you went to see them, hm?" Regina said, stalking across the room towards Red. "Letting them know what my defenses looked like, when the best time to strike would be?"

"I tried to get them to _help_ you."

"Really. That's a good story."

Red swallowed again. "They said the same thing. They thought you controlled me somehow, that all of this was an elaborate plot for you to go after Snow." She gave an empty smile. "I guess you two aren't so different after all."

Regina didn't say anything. Conflicting emotions swept across her face, too quickly for Red to make out anything, before she finally took a step back and flicked her wrist, disappearing in a cloud of purple smoke.

 

* * *

 

Snow and David was at the head of the army, their horses almost as white as their clothes. Blue was by their side, of course, and her fairies hovered over the soldiers, their bright light reflecting in the soldiers' polished armor.

They were met in the courtyard by Red and Regina, flanked by two dozen guards. Red hadn't spoken to Regina since their earlier conversation, but the fact that she hadn't been sent away told her all she needed to know.

To her credit, Snow did dismount, but whatever kinship Red still felt for her vanished when she saw Snow's worry. She had arrived with an army of conquest and yet she was the one who was worried?

"Red," Snow began, taking a tentative step towards her before stopping. "I'm sorry. This was the only way." Steeling herself, Snow turned to Regina. "You will not–"

"Why are you here?" Red cut her off. "And why did you bring your soldiers?"

"We're here to stop the Evil Queen," David declared. "For good."

On his signal, Blue sent a bolt of magic at Regina, striking her before anyone could react.

"Will it hold her long enough for you to cancel out her magic?" Snow asked, eyeing Red and Regina with worry.

"Yes, it should only take a moment."

" _Why_ are you doing this?" Anger bubbled up inside of Red. Everything was happening too fast and she didn't know what to do.

Snow sighed. "She has put some kind of spell on you. Maybe it was something you drank or ate, or she took that memory from you–"

"I'm not under a spell!"

"You're not yourself," Snow insisted. "You fought the Evil Queen – you help defeat her! The Red I knew wouldn't switch sides like that. And I do know you, Red, I know there's good in you, and..." 

Snow's speech died off as her focus drifted over to Blue, who was becoming visibly frustrated. She closed her eyes, brows furrowed in concentration, and waved her wand and... nothing. Nothing happened.

"I don't understand," Blue mumbled. "I can't find any active enchantments or spells at all."

Snow stared at her, at Regina, then at Red before turning back to Blue, confusion written all over her face. "But..."

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. There is no spell."

"What about her heart? Regina might have ripped it out, using it to control her."

Balling her fists, Red took a step back. "No."

Blue shared a look with Snow, who nodded. "We need to know," Snow said. "We all need to know."

The more Red backed away, the more her world narrowed to the fairy that slowly flew closer. Her teeth sharpened, her nails hardened, and her body grew tense. Yet, she hesitated. Wasn't Snow and Blue heroes, on the side of good? Her mind was a jumble of conflicting thoughts and ideals, notions of right and wrong that hadn't fit her world for a long time, if ever.

"Red, please calm down. We're not your enemies," Snow pleaded. "You can come back with us and this will all just be a bad memory."

Red stopped.

Her heartbeat thumped in her ears.

Blue raised her wand.

And Red leaped.

She couldn't tell when she shifted, but when she hit the ground it was on four legs, and in her jaw were a pair of light blue wings, torn apart by her teeth.

Snow was crouching over a Blue's battered body, babbling incoherently.

Everything else was oddly still. No one knew what to do.

Then the spell that had held Regina broke, and the world woke up.

 

* * *

 

The army left without much fanfare, their spirit broken by Blue's defeat. No threats, no demands, just a somber retreat back the way they came.

"They'll be back," Regina muttered as she followed the retreating army with her eyes.

"Probably."

Regina scoffed. "They'll probably let you back there too, if you grovel enough."

"I'm not so sure about that," Red said, feeling oddly at ease. "Maybe Snow. I doubt Blue will want to have anything to do with me."

"Well, the moth has never been a good judge of character."

Red chuckled. After all this, Regina's sharp quips were almost soothing. Comforting, even.

"I suppose this means you'll be staying," Regina said. "Unless you're planning on heading back to that mudpit of a village I found you in."

"No, I'm staying." She sidled up next to Regina and bumped her lightly with her shoulder. "You're stuck with me."

"I should probably give you a title. A close advisor to the queen herself should be called something as mundane as 'the wolf'."

Red hummed in agreement, enjoying the warmth where their shoulders were still touching. "I like that."

They stood like that, watching the horizon together until the army was finally out of sight.

Regina was the first to break the silence. "Now then, with that ouf of the way..." She took a step away from Red and held out her hand in an invite. "If you'll come with me, Madame Advisor, we have a war to prepare for."

Red took her hand and followed Regina across the courtyard back into the castle, and the world made just a little bit more sense.

**Author's Note:**

> When I first started this, it was meant to be more explicit on the whole relationship-y front, but it just kinda didn't fit. I hope the somewhat subtle way I write it still comes across as romantic on some level, because that is what I intended.
> 
> tl;dr: they're totally boning in the epilogue y'all


End file.
